Learning Abundance After Seasons of Lack

Author: Farmer Kelley

There are years I will never forget. Years when I wrapped toys from the bottom of the toy box to put something under the tree. Took cash advances on my credit card to pay the rent.

Even now—when my family is healthy, the freezer is full, and the farm is strong—I sometimes catch that old reflex in my body. The subtle tightening. The instinct to hold back. To save. To brace.

It is a strange thing, experiencing abundance after a season of lack.

Because abundance is not just about what surrounds you. It is about what your nervous system believes is safe.

On the farm, the land teaches this slowly. After a drought, the soil does not immediately trust the rain. It absorbs cautiously. Roots rebuild before they reach. There is wisdom in that.

I see this in so many women.

We have known seasons of stretching meals. Of stretching dollars. Of stretching ourselves thin for children, for careers, for marriages, for aging parents. We learned to make do. To not waste. To not ask for more than necessary.

And those skills are honorable. But sometimes they quietly follow us into seasons where we no longer need to live so tightly.

Abundance can feel indulgent. Unsafe, even. Buying the higher-quality food. Resting without earning it. Investing in our strength, our hormones, our skin, our joy.

Yet true abundance is not excess. It is choosing quality because your body is worthy of it.

When the grass grows thick again in the field, we don’t apologize for letting the animals eat well. We don’t ration out of habit. We honor the season in front of us.

Perhaps this is our work now, too.

To gently teach our bodies that there is enough. To loosen the fist. To receive.

If you’ve known seasons of lack, I see you. Those years shaped you. They made you resourceful and resilient.

But you are allowed to live differently now. Tell me—where in your life are you still bracing, even though the pasture has already turned green?

With steadiness,

Farmer Kelley